


Your Ex-Lover is Dead

by WeLookedLikeGiants



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: 2am angst, Angst, M/M, got some other refrences if you can catch 'em, honestly, if you do I will, kms angst, listened to a song now I'm here, tell me to add more
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-12
Updated: 2018-09-12
Packaged: 2019-07-11 10:05:48
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,488
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15970100
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/WeLookedLikeGiants/pseuds/WeLookedLikeGiants
Summary: If there's nothing left to burn you have to set yourself on fire





	Your Ex-Lover is Dead

**Author's Note:**

> Literally finished at 2:30 am, had to somehow get back into this account, and now we are here. Ellie, you a hoe if you're reading this.  
> (This is me from the future, I edited it the next day at 2 am again, there are slight and drastic changes, so please re-read. Ok, I love you bye-bye)

Lance went into the house and the first thing he saw was Pidge, her stoutness had been interchanged with a pair of stilettos with the heels so high she was nearly up to his eyes. Lance was Pidge’s plus one and she had begged him for a week to go so she wouldn’t be bombarded with people she didn’t want to talk to. Lance thought it would be a college party with alcohol, sex, and all the usual things that entailed a college party and he was dressed for that specific occasion. Green Hoodie, blue T-shirt, and normal jeans. He was wrong about everything and was completely underdressed with the embarrassment showing on his face.  
Instead, it was like a business party for everyone that had been involved in the Macrobiotic Chemistry class. No one liked the class, but everyone was getting scholarships for the class because of its low application rate, and the teacher’s desperate need for competent students to teach.  
“Typical Lance… I thought I told you it was a formal party?” she wasn’t angry or annoyed or surprised, she was indifferent because she knew this would happen. “I’m sorry I thought it was rager…” the blush had appeared on his face again and Pidge took her phone out and shown Lance three texts that had all said that it was a formal party and she scolded him, not a word from her mouth and Lance knew everything she wanted to say.  
“Come on.” she grabbed Lance’s arm out of both a plea for stable footing and as a way to show that he was her plus one and not some stupid college kid looking for alcohol. He was, but that’s not the point, “Lemme introduce you to some of my colleagues.”  
The first one that Lance had met was the teacher, Takashi Shirogane, but he told him to call him Shiro. Shiro was nice, easy on the eyes, but nothing special. Lance had doubted he would ever talk to him again after this occasion.  
The conversations were about things that Lance hadn’t understood. Lance was a Spanish major in his junior year and had intended to be a teacher when he got out of college. He was going to teach at a high school somewhere on the coast, he didn’t care which one, just a coast. Lance had loved the ocean, water, Ice, and everything in between. He made it a point to go somewhere that had the possibility of all three.  
Then as soon as he had gotten into a train of thought he had liked, Pidge snapped him out of his trance by saying that they were going to talk to Hunk, a friend that Lance had actually known outside of college due to Pidge’s slight obsession with him and his geeky talk.  
They had sauntered over to the small buffet area like they belonged there. Hunk was stationed with a bunch of H’orderves in one hand and a glass of champagne in the other, with another guest gawking at his fast-paced consumption. Lance had wanted some of the expensive alcohol but decided it would be best if he kept his sobriety to the fullest extent simply because if he became inebriated, things would have gone downhill fast.  
Hunk had snapped out of his feeding frenzy, cleaned himself before Pidge, and prepared himself for the oncoming engagement. This was all due to Hunk’s reciprocated obsession of Pidge and her nerdy talk. Hunk straightened his back, greeted Pidge, and offered a hand to her, which she took and he kissed; trying a little too hard to be chivalrous. Pidge was just fine with this seeing that she often talked about something like this happening in her dreams. She’s kind of weird sometimes, but that’s alright. Hunk then greeted Lance and introduced him to the man standing next to him.  
“Lance, this is Keith,” he said plainly, they exchanged “hello”s and “how are you”s, followed by a small awkward silence that was suddenly interrupted by Hunk. “Hey, aren’t you in the language department, Spanish isn’t it? Keith here is learning Japanese, he’s a Sophomore, but I think you guys would have ran into each other at least once because of all of the linguistic requirements and how many of them overlap.” Hunk knew his stuff, most of the linguistics program had overlapping classes with world history and phonics and junk like that.  
“Yeah, I think we’ve met.” Keith had chimed in quietly, “European Politics?” Lance asked. “Yeah, that was such a weird class for me to take seeing that I should have been in Asian Politics.” this sort of awkward conversation that had plagued him for his entire life had drudged on, but it didn’t matter.  
Oddly the conversation was getting more and more interesting by the second. Lance had wanted to keep talking with this man. He abandoned Pidge, or maybe it was the other way around, in any case, Lance and Keith were talking until late into the night. The party was just about over and it was drizzling outside, Pidge and Hunk had an exam in the morning so they went home, but Lance and Keith wanted to keep talking.  
Lance surprisingly found a way to hail a taxi at 2:34. The taxi was just about to leave when Lance saw Keith looking like a lost puppy in the now pouring rain. Lance stopped the taxi driver and yelled for Keith to get in, he acknowledged this and speed walked over to it, got in, and whispered his gratitude to Lance. “Where are you two headed?” the red-headed driver said tiredly. Lance and Keith both gave their address, and Lance told the driver to drop Keith off first. “Why?” Keith asked, now choosing to use one-word sentences for the rest of the night, “Because I want to pay for your fare.” Lance had responded.  
For the rest of the ride they didn’t say a word. Keith had thought it was because Lance was sad, but it was really because Lance had forgotten his name. Keith was about to be dropped off, but before he got out and to go into his home to retreat from the rain that had continued its sweet assault on the earth, he gave Lance a small tattered piece of paper with his name and his number, “I wanted to give this to you as soon as we started talking about dogs, but I was conflicted until now.” with that, Keith was gone. Lance had gleamed, he knew his name AND he got the number of someone attractive without even having to delve into his vast vocabulary of pick up lines and Spanish sayings.

After that, Lance and Keith started going on dates. Date one wasn’t as awkward as the party, but Keith’s quiet demeanor had clashed with Lance’s lack of knowledge of the man and the need to know more.Date two was much easier because Keith was in a great mood and had the patience and the interest in Lance. Date three was… well, it was the stereotypical third date.  
Lance had figured out he loved Keith when Keith had taken off his shirt in the light while making breakfast in the kitchen, making his entire torso visible. A large velvet scar on his back, ripping through Keith’s porcelain skin, had made itself known and Lance asked Keith if he could touch it. he agreed and Lance had softly traced the vertical scar down his back. Lance didn’t ask what happened, he just wanted to know if Keith was still affected by it.  
“Fire when I was 7,” He said nonchalantly, “doesn’t hurt anymore but it’s a reminder of what almost took me away from the chance of meeting you.” Lance had teared up and hugged Keith from behind. “Thank you for living.” Lance had said, he knew it sounded extremely dumb and almost too rom-com-my for anyone to bear. He knew Keith would tease him about it later, but he meant it. Lance loved Keith and he was thankful he had lived to see this day play out.  
Lance hadn’t said it out loud, no; this happened when Keith was going to take his Japanese 1020 final and was in a real rush. “OK, I love you, bye.” and then he hung up. Immediately Keith had picked up what he had just said and texted Lance when he got to class, “I think I just said I love you.” “You did.” “I do” “I love you too” and that’s how Keith told Lance what they both knew already. Lance holds onto that. All of that happened, and no matter what. That was his. Then everything became simple and easy for them, they were going steady for a year and a half and they had just moved in. Lance proposed and Keith said yes. Everything was happy, happy, happy. 

 

Not to break out the angst hammer, but they were happy until they weren’t.

Bills had started to pile with the upcoming wedding, Lance was about to graduate and leave to Oregon to start teaching with his Bachelors, and Keith still had a year left, and out of state tuition was way too expensive. Lance had to leave in a week, and instead of trying to make it last by either Keith dropping out, Lance quitting, or trying to make a long-distance relationship last, they ended it.  
“Lance, come on, I can’t quit, that’s not how this works.”  
“Keith, you know this is my dream job, I’ve wanted this since I was 12”  
“Yeah, well I’ve wanted this since I was 12 too. You can’t be so selfish in this decision.”  
“Yes I can, I told you this 5 months ago, like a day after our engagement, you remember that.”  
“I know, but this won’t work from so far away, we’ll see each other maybe once or twice…”  
“Babe, I have to go. This decision is final, whether your coming with me or not is your choice.”  
“Well, you’ll have to send me a postcard, or the news.” Keith took his engagement ring off, put it on the table and walked out of the door, not a word from Lance's mouth, just anger, tears, and regret plaguing his mind.  
After that, Lance had left. He expected Keith to run up in the terminal and sweep him off his feet and apologize and say they’d make it work.  
He didn’t.  
Lance left without another thought, drowning out any anger and sadness to the tune of “World at Large” by modest mouse. The music so loud that bystanders could hear it through his soundproof headphones.

 

3 Years passed. Lance had oddly run into Shiro again. Turns out, the man moved here so he could get his Ph.D. and had looked significantly better than what he looked like a couple years ago, his arm was missing yes, but everything else looked better, and, although he hates saying this, twunk-ish.  
They hit it off and then started dating, Lance hadn’t gotten over Keith until Shiro came around again. He thought that by now he would start to be better. Start to change into something that could hold itself up off the ground. That was until there was a note in the mail, the day after he had gotten engaged to Shiro.  
Lance loved Shiro, but he wasn’t his first love, this wasn’t something that Lance could change, he could spend the rest of his life with Shiro, but it still wouldn’t be the same. So they got into the airplane and went back to that fateful city.  
Lance took Shiro’s hand and walked into the building, knowing full well what to expect when he got in. Shiro hugged him right when they saw the box.  
“Live through this and you’ll never look back.” Shiro had been saying this since their 4th date when he had to call child services on one of his students, and Lance had made it clear early in their relationship of his feelings for the quote. Tears stinging his eyes and sobs making their way past his throat. He hated being vocal of his feelings through noises, but he couldn’t control that now. He needed to get it out of his system and hugged Shiro tighter.  
Lance had been called up to the podium and was told to say a couple things. He was Keith’s ex, yes, but Krolia knew that Lance still cared for him. He knew this was coming with about a month’s advance and was ready to say something, but didn’t know how to convey it. Instead of pity, love, or sadness, he chose anger. He didn’t regret that, nor would he regret the feelings he would make everyone feel with those words. Shiro was about to see him at his rawest and Lance like the thought of that. If Shiro was going to get married to him, he’d have to know these feelings. Although Lance had told Shiro smidgens of the grudge and ferocity towards Keith, he would never be able to comprehend it. At least, not until now.  
Looking directly in Krolia’s eyes, he spouted “I’m going to cut the bullshit here, let’s not go around and say sad things to make ourselves feel better, or remember the great times we had with him. It’s okay to acknowledge the great things about this man, but we also have to think about the terrible things he did while he was alive.” Tears had long since started flowing, and his voice cracked like he was a teenager.  
“I think about you every Thanksgiving, surrounded by the smell of cheap wine and pity at the dinner table when we count all of our blessings and wonder why we are still here. I’ve done this for three years, hoping you would get your comeuppance for what you did. Which isn’t fair. I did some shitty things to you too, but I’m not about to start apologizing for it. I’m not going to join in the procession that’s speaking our peace, using five-dollar words; praising your integrity. You can deck out a lie in a suit and tie, but I’m not going to buy it. Just ‘cause you’re gone doesn’t change the fact that you were a bastard in life, thus a bastard in death.” He had expected Krolia to start marching up, to start trying to tear Lance down from the podium for disgracing her son. Oddly, she sat, albeit more sad than before, but it was her way of saying she understood Lance’s feelings  
“I’m going to live through this and I won’t look back. There’s one thing I want to say, so I’ll be brave because that’s the one thing you deserve. You were what I wanted. I gave what I gave. I’m not sorry I met you. I’m not sorry it’s over. I’m not sorry there’s nothing to save.”


End file.
